Friday, October 03, 2008

Living in a fog

I said to Darren shortly before bed last night, "Dangit, I forgot to put the sheets in the dryer!" But out in the garage, I was bewildered to find those blasted sheets just sitting there in the washing machine: no water, no detergent, just sitting there with the lid up, mocking me. What the heck? I remembered eventually what had happened: before starting the machine earlier in the day, I went to retrieve the accompanying pillowcases, scattered about the house by my helpers. Distracted by someone or something, I forgot to add them to the waiting load until, well, 9:00 or so last night.

And that is just so typical of how my days go lately. I'll walk into the kitchen and stop, shocked to find the dishwasher open, lower rack pulled out, half emptied of its contents, but with no recollection of having started the job. (And I've got to remember to begin with the knives from now on; those black handles horrify me every time I see them exposed like that in plain view and easy reach of small hands.)

Sometimes I'll catch an unsuspecting glimpse of Meghan's bare bottom beneath the hem of her dress, the briefest flash of skin, and it takes me a moment to register the fact that many minutes earlier (I won't say hours) she had asked me for a dry Pull-Up.

Once, a few weeks ago, I walked into my bedroom and experienced a flash of panic when I didn't see Kristen in her crib. Where on earth could she have gone?! Oh, but wait, of course: she was seated in the living room, settled happily in her Baby Papasan, where she could watch her big brother and sisters while I got ready. Two nights ago, while dining with my in-laws out on our back patio, I kept finding myself performing random, mental head counts of my children and worried once when I came up one short...and then realized it was because Kristen was nuzzled up to me, nursing contentedly beneath a blanket!

I wonder sometimes how much of my children's recent bad attitudes can be attributed to their Mommy's absent mindedness. Please, somebody who's been through this: tell me there's an end in sight! Tell me it won't always be like this! And please, for the love of all that is holy, please tell me I am not the only mother who has ever allowed chocolate cake for lunch at two o'clock in the afternoon. (A one time occurrence, I assure you.)

(ETA: Just after publishing this post, I went to check on how Dylan was doing with his school work. I found my cup of coffee waiting right where I left it...two hours ago. I drank it anyway.)


Juli said...

I don't know if there is an end in sight, because I am still in the thick of the fog myself, but I can assure you that you are not the only one that is going through it. I know that doesn't help much, but maybe it helps to know you're not the only one? :)

Therese said...

I live in the fog myself...I am really hoping it will lift one day!

Jamie said...

You just posted my day, were you here?

It is the biggest thing I've noticed since having that 4th child. Last week at Soccer, I was yelling for my 4 year old, in a panic, when the kids laughed and said, "Mom, you are holding her hand!"

Jen said...

It's something about having number four, and perhaps having them in quick succession. I hate to tell you, but David will be two in December, and we still have days like this. I really do believe it's God's plan for us, especially those of us that are perfectionists (and that's not me...I'm just sayin' :-) There are so many things in life that make us feel secure if we are just in control. If things go our way. And that's not how life is. Yes, it's nice when school work is done in time, when the dishwasher is emptied out before the new dirty ones pile up in the sink, when the laundry gets done and kids aren't yelling that they're out of pants, when no one is sick...the list goes on. But that's our idea of perfection. But is that God's? I really do feel that these days are purgative fires of motherhood, and are given out of love by the One who Created these beautiful creatures to assure our entrance into true perfection. Perfect union with Him. So, rest in the fact that even though your coffee is cold, and the kids had chocolate cake (hey, I bet you got a few moments of silence! My kids are always quiet eating chocolate cake!), your daughter didn't get her Pull Up (I call that potty training)....they are still getting a better childhood than being stuck in a daycare or classroom all day. At least in my opinion. It's the domestic church, and it's where we all grow in love, bare bottoms and all.:-) Much love to you Melissa!

Lillian said...

LOL!! I don't know if there is an end in sight. I always forget to drink my coffee and so will warm it up in the microwave only to discover at dinner time (when I go to warm up frozen veggies) that I never drank it. *sigh*

I now make sure that I sit down and drink my coffee before school starts. Or else it just doesn't happen.

But I haven't found any solutions for most of my absent mindedness.

Eventually, kids start to remind you. My kids HAVE to remind me when I get in the car, to ask me if I have my purse. I can't begin to tell you how many times I've arrived at the store or piano lessons or church to discover I forgot my purse.

And the same happens with me with my laundry. ;-)

Blair said...

I'm right there with you! Tonight I frantically searched all over my friend's house for my keys, which were found in the ignition where I had just put them as I got the kids buckled. I also was looking for my baby while he was in the baby wrap tonight. Oh and I also got halfway to this friend's house before I realized I left the dessert for the party on my counter; I had only taken 3 or 4 trips back in the house to get things and still forgot that! I feel VERY foggy these days!

Whenever we ask my mother-in-law (mom of 7) about things that happened when her kids were little, she just says "Oh that was during my foggy years". Unfortunately I think it will be a long while before we're out. Just trying to enjoy the fog!

Cheryl said...

I'm in a fog too.